These days, newly and vintage single people are turning to online dating far more often than they are to the bar and club scene. It’s become easier for us to sift through 100s of potential matches and weed out the “absolutely nots” without putting on pants or buying a drink. In fact, online dating has become so popular that 1 in 3 relationships start online and that number is increasing every day.
But while online dating takes away the pressure that trying to pick someone up in real life can bring, it still poses the potential for rejection–rejection that hurts just as much online as it does in real life.
However, you can severely decrease your odds of rejection by tweaking your profile and your approach. Check out some of these online dating tips and see if you can change your luck or convince yourself to make a profile.
Your profile picture is key:
You’ll notice that many people post half-naked mirror selfies. These pictures garner a lot of attention, but it’s typically only the shallow kind, so that’s not the way to go. You’ll also notice that people like to post photos of them in groups or that are so grainy you can’t make out their face. Or better yet, photos that don’t include their face at all. Treat this dating platform the same way you would with your LinkedIn. Pick a close up photo of yourself (with clothes on) that someone else took. Then include additional photos of you with another person having fun or engaged in one of your favorite activities (and I don’t mean some pervy activity like flinging around Adam and Eve dildos.) Be smart. A clear, single picture can go a long way.
Avoid cliches like, “I’m just a nice guy/girl looking for a nice girl/guy.” Aren’t we all. Cliches are cheesy, non-descriptive and so predictable I could write an entire fake profile right now and it would probably match 80% of dating profiles out there. Instead you want to be genuine and detailed enough that someone would actually want to reach out to you. Including sentences like “I don’t know what to write and I don’t usually do this” is a waste of characters and shows you don’t have a lot of confidence. Be proud of who you are and honest about what you like to do and are interested in. This is your cover letter that will get you noticed, so don’t be afraid to talk yourself up. Plus lacking confidence can be very transparent in online profiles, so if anything, fake it until you make it, because no one is looking for a self-esteem project.
At the end of the day, we all want someone who is going to make us laugh. Show that you have a personality and a fun side by making your profile a little witty or quirky. Write it in a way that sounds like you are actually talking to the reader. Be sure to not force the humor though and never go for insulting or offensive humor. Don’t go for dumb humor if you’re in to dry and vice versa. Be true to yourself, unless yourself isn’t funny.
Be Honest with Your Answers:
Most dating sites give you the option to fill out your preferences: smoker/non, drinker/non, tall/short etc. If you know you won’t date a smoker, be sure to list it . Don’t worry that your answers will limit your dating pool. It will, but you wouldn’t have been happy with someone who smokes anyway. Use this section to your advantage so that you can be sure to hone in on people who really do match your style and dating preferences.
When searching for a job, we’re always told to personalize each cover letter to each job application. It’s tedious, but the customization and attention to detail usually get you noticed. The same goes for online dating. Do not craft one blanket message and send it out to 20 potential dates. Take the time to read each profile and find a way to connect with them. Here’s a simple formula: Greeting, compliment them, explain a comparison between the two, ask them a question. There is no need for a long, word-vomit style, needy message. Don’t put all your cards on the table before they’ve even said hi or spend 3 paragraphs waxing poetic about their face; that’s creepy. Keep it short, authentic and personalized. Being lazy will get you nowhere.
And as a bonus:
If you get a follow up to your message, be sure to take it offline and into a real dating situation within 3 or so messages. Don’t drag the online portion on. Figure out if you guys are really interested in each other.