g33kBowl Week 2 Predictions

Last week in the g33kBowl, crazy shit happened.  We had blowouts, we had super low scoring games, we had games  decided by one points, and we had teams erase huge deficits to win during the Monday night games.  Just as I said last week, it’s almost impossible to guess how the first games are going to go because we just don’t know what kind of Football season it’s going to be, especially this year with the shortened off season due to the lockout.  Of course since I stated all of that, I was really only doing that to give myself the excuse for going a terrible 2 and 5 with my predictions.  I was so embarrassed by my predictions that I tried to think of a humorous way to make fun of it, but I couldn’t.  I just had to live with the sadness of knowing that I was terrible at picking games.

I felt like growing out my beard, crying and drinking heavily.  If you had seen me in person, I looked and acted a lot like Season 4 Jack Shephard from LOST.  I was there, drinking moonshine that I had made out of stuff that I found in the garbage, dried mustard forming mold on my bare chest, screaming at the cats; “I want to go back and redo my picks!  I WANT TO GO BACK!”  In case you are having difficulty visualizing what it was like, this would be just about right.  Joey V Wanting To Go Back.

With that all being said, I’m now one week wiser which means that I am ready to make some more awful picks and keep getting things wrong.  If I can somehow end up being .500 at the end of the season, I’ll take it as a huge victory.  For now though, I present to you my predictions for Week 2.

Prediction Record: (2-5)

Week 2 Matchups

Citadel Spectres (1-0)
Scottish Highlanders (1-0)

Last week Joey V bet against himself and lost.  While that is funny, that is pretty bad and I need to make sure that I give myself enough credit.  That being said, my team got supported by a huge performance by the San Francisco 49ers Special Teams and it’s not possible to always count on that.  The Scottish Highlanders had a very solid game all around with his entire team helping out with a well rounded effort.  There aren’t a lot of weak points to the Highlanders team and that is something that will simply mean that they will always be a contender.

What will be interesting though is that the Spectres have a resourcefulness to them that can be tough to quantify.  They just seem to have it.  That all being said, Joey V who runs the Spectres will not be on the Citadel, he’ll be in Florida for a wedding and having fun at Disney World so he’ll be distracted.  He’ll have to prove to us that he’s for real and not a fluke.  Majikman and the Highlanders though, they are for real!

Predicted Winner: Scottish Highlanders

NJ Fear Boners (0-1)
Hoboken Dread Pirates (0-1)

The quote coming out of last week’s games from MZ and the NJ Fear Boners was very appropriate.  “This week was terrible … the boners were flaccid.”  Yup that pretty much sums them up, but in MZ’s defense, he went up against the Thresher Maw’s who simply had the best possible week.  There was no way anyone could have stood up to the Maw’s.  The same could have been said for the Dread Pirates who fell to Team Cappy who also had a huge week.  So we have two teams here that have very high expectations but both under performed in the first week.  One of these teams is going to right the ship while the other is going to fall to 0-2 and be in a little bit of trouble.

The Fear Boners have Michael Vick and we have made no bones about it that we think that Vick is going to have a huge year Fantasy wise.  However, the rest of the team that we are finding around Vick is not exciting us, whereas the Pirates have great names in Chris Johnson, Wes Welker, Miles Austin and DeSean Jackson just to name a bunch.  We love Boners (yes we went there), but this week is a Pirate’s life for us.

Predicted Winner: Hoboken Dread Pirates

Mars Space Cowboys (0-1)
Zombie Black Bears (1-0)

Last week the Space Cowboys were ahead going into the Monday night games, but then lost.  Eco and the Zombie Black Bears on the other hand were losing going into the final games, but pulled off the victory with a huge game from everyone’s favorite UGGS model Tom Brady.  So which team will show up this week?  Will the Space Cowboys falter against this week in the face of adversity or will they hold their ground?  Will the Zombie Black Bears, the most feared Zombie Animal when the end of days come, continue to build momentum based on the strong arm of their pretty boy QB?

Well that’s what I’m hear to speculate on right?  Upon looking at these teams I noticed that they stayed true to their favorite teams.  Raid Boss is supporting the Giants whereas Eco is going with the Jets.  For right now, the Giants are a mess and the Jets have the ability to bounce back from everything.  I’m sorry Raid Boss, but I’ll catch you on the flip side after you get eaten by some pissed off Undead Bears.

Predicted Winner: Zombie Black Bears

Team Caporrino (1-0)
The Besaid Aurochs (0-1)

Girls of g33kWatch, ASSEMBLE!

Ok now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to analysis.  Cappy had a huge game last week scoring big time and pulling a great win over the Dread Pirates.  Katie and the Besaid Aurochs though obviously had not trained up the Jecht Shot (hahahaha get it?) and while they didn’t lose by a lot, they scored the fewest points of the week of any team.

I’m going to keep this short and sweet.  Katie is my wife and she’s better at Fantasy Football than that, and I am really biased.  She’s going to go big this week and pull out a close fought match as Caporrino comes back down to earth a little bit.

Predicted Winner: The Besaid Aurochs

Tuchanka Thresher Maw’s (1-0)
Lunar Robunnys (1-0)

The Thresher Maw’s had a huge Thursday performance from Dree Brees and just kept on chugging after that.  We won’t lie when we say we were really surprised at just how high the score went up.  We knew the Maw’s had a great team, but if MJD is going to keep playing at a high level, and Reggie Wayne is not going to be affected by Peyton Manning’s absence, then it’s going to be long season for opponents of Terry and the Thresher Maw’s.  The Lunar Robunnys on the other hand are who we thought they were.  Strong team with a great roster that performed well and has the potential to do even better in future weeks.  It’s a tough call to make.  No matter what, after this game both teams will be set to have a good season but only one can win this matchup.

We’re going to go ahead and show some support for the Thresher Maw’s this week and celebrate the jib of all the g33ks and m33ks out there.  The Robunnys can easily win this one and we wouldn’t be surprised if they did, but something about the Maw’s just has us intrigued.

Predicted Winner: Tuchanka Thresher Maw’s

English Kniggits (0-1)
Binary Rock-Jocks (0-1)

This matchup right here is about more than just Fantasy Football.  This is a game all about the rivarly that has been budding between Soah of the English Kniggits and Binary Son from the Rock-Jocks.  If you haven’t played during our g33k Game Nights, then you may not know about Soah and his crazy custom made Forge maps.  Those maps, have been a constant source of pain and agony for Binary.  The craziness of the vehicle Zombie map where Soah would reign over his opponents and force them to obey the speed limit.  The rock climbing fiasco of Soah’s other Zombie map has already been described in legend, and how Binary tried to climb up a small mounting for what felt like hours.

This week, we’re betting on the Rock-Jocks.  If there ever was a time come out swinging and gain revenge for past events, now is the time.  Will the Rock-Jocks win and silence their past demons, or will Soah and the Kniggits continue to pester and torment Binary?  Only time will tell!

Predicted Winner: Binary Rock-Jocks

Week 2 Spotlight Match

Team Malfunct (1-0)

We bet on Jimmy and the Dastardly Pirates of ARRGAN IISOU last week and if not for Tom Brady, he would have made me a really smart man!  Alas, the Patriots QB is a motherfucker, like a real one.  Malfunct on the other hand, we voted against him and he surprised us.  He had a rough week trying to learn the intricacies of Fantasy Football, and came out ahead even while he did it.

We have a theory around here at g33kWatch HQ that Jimmy and Malfunct are actually Fantasy Football Sharks.  They know exactly what to do and are masters of the game and they are just biding their time.  Like we said last week, Malfunct has Aaron Rodgers and is therefore always dangerous.  Jimmy has the uber talented LeSean McCoy and Dez Bryant and that means that can be a win at any time.

Trying to think of a winner, since it’s almost time for Gears of War 3 release, Joey V needed to support and pick ARRGAN IISOU and Jimmy … his Bro of War.  Be very careful with Malfunct later on in the season because he’s going to be dangerous as he rides the great season the Green Bay Packers will be having.

Predicted Winner: ARRGAN IISOU

Joseph Valenti

Founder of g33kWatch, Joe is the guy who makes sure nobody hurts themselves. Connect with me on Google+


  1. The LOST picture has me cracking up. You read about how Matthew Fox got drunk and attacked a party bus driver because she wouldn’t let him on, right? That’s totally what I’m picturing you doing now.

    Never underestimate Brady. As a Jets fan, I kinda hate the guy. He may be a motherfucker, but that dude can throw. Steven Jackson getting hurt threw me for a loop this week, and I’m not real thrilled with my flex play. If anyone’s interested in Romo, I’d consider giving him up for a decent WR/RB.

  2. I will be very happy to prove you wrong for another week Joey. That said I actually side with you on the predictions. My team is full of people I am now finding out are 2nd or 3rd choices for thier team so could be rough for me unless I clean some things up.

  3. @Eco I’m glad that you enjoyed my LOST picture and reference. Katie and I were laughing our asses off as I was writing last night. As for your Romo-ness, I would be willing to give up a combination of Reggie Bush and Deion Branch / Dwayne Bowe if you were interested.

    @Malfunct I would be willing to make some trades with you to get you back up and running. Let me know after tis week what you want to do.

  4. the Tuchanka Thresher Maws THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE…

  5. I was so close and yet in the end so far. When I left the final game for ZBB we were 99-99 with 50 minutes left in the game and I knew I would lose. Lose like a fool!

    I love that Dez Bryant worked a game with a duff quad and hate that he has a duff quad and is not at practice today making Bryantfest 2011 nothing more than a thinly veiled threat.

    It is hirarerius.how many people have fallen to injury since last Thursday though. Did anyone actually have a whole team survive Week 1?


    Here’s to hoping killing off half my squad from last week helps!! And Legarrette Blount actually remembering that there’s a game this weekend will help too…

  7. You know the flipside of being eaten, is being pooped out, sir. Are you saying I am poop? After the performance of my Giants team. I do feel like poop. So, we will see.

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